8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

8 Tips To Look Skinny In Time For Halloween

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

It’s October, meaning that after a month of get into your winter bod, it is now is high time to put one across the sluttiest fucking thing you’ve ever seen in their own lives your Halloween garband parade your two-months-into-seasonal-depression look for the general public. Unfortunate. But until we can get a statute passed that officially moves Halloween to July( aka peak summertime bod season ), we’re all just going to have to do our best to look as skinny as possible before donning our v tasteful Playboy Bunny Hugh Hefner tribute attires. Sure, it’s already the first week of October, making any real weight loss impossible unless you have a fairy plastic surgeon godmother and a 5-day supply of prune juice at the ready, but all is not lost. There are ways to LOOK way skinnier than you actually are so that, come Halloween costume period, you can fool everyone into thinking you dropped five pounds. It’s basically witchcraft, which is very festive of you.

Even if you plan on wearing a shapeless ghost sheet because you honestly can’t deal with what pizza and carbs have done to you, you can still look noticeably skinnier by Halloween, which is like, the goal always 😛 TAGEND

1. Be Tan

Just do it. Whether you choose the cancer-giving sun or a nice slather of faux tanner, being darker makes you look about five pounds less than when you’re pale and pasty.

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

2. Wear Your Hair Up

Getting your messy-ass rat’s nest hair off your face helps show off them cheekbones, which, astound, induces you seem thinner. Don’t be gelling it back, though–keep it looser around your face but high off your neck in the back.

3. High-Waisted Gasps Are Your Friend

Fucking duh! Your waist is LIKELY to be smaller than the rest of your torso( I mean, I hope ), so cinching in on it with high gasps gives you a nice hourglass figure.

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

4. Deep V Necks FTW

If you didn’t already know, deep v-necks showin’ off the girls are PRIME for making yourself look thinner. It gives the illusion of a longer, thinner body and draws attention away from the thunder thigh situation.

5. Distract Person With Jewelry

Like moths drew attention to flame, confuse your audience with jewelry and sparkly shit. By wearing necklaces that draw attention to your face and neck, people are less likely to notice your beer gut.

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

6. Embrace Shapewear

If SPANX are not your most prized possession already, you better get buddy-buddy with them to appear thinner. SPANX and other shapewear come in tops, bottoms, and full-on body suits. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes, but you’ll look great and everyone will be jelly.

7. Go Underwear Shopping

Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit constructs those titties appear saggy OR squeezed in a gross sorta route? Same rule applies for those undies that are def too tight and construct your ass definitely sounds like 15 pounds of ham in a 5 pound purse. Get it? Buy a bra that fits and underwear that don’t have seams and, hence, won’t cut you in weird, bulgy ways.

8 Tips To Appear Skinny In Time For Halloween

8. Nude Heels Forever

Nothing attains you look like you have cankles quite like a black or dark shoe cutting across your leg or foot. Nude heels and nude shoes keep the sightline running, therefore making your legs seem instantaneously longer, thinner, and def not chubby.

So, with all this in intellect, I presume we’re all wearing our hair up with long sparkly necklaces, deep v cut leotards, high-waisted animal tails, and nude heels for Halloween. Voices great.

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