“As my husband was walking out the door with a suitcase and I was literally holding onto his shirttails imploring him to stay, I never thought anything positive could come from it( other than a huge weight loss due to the absolute agony ). But something did. Once I began to heal, I find a strong person underneath the ‘wife and mother’ facade I had hid behind for years. No longer a spouse, but still a loving mother, I now make decisions based on my desires and wants. The dread of ‘what if he does this or what if he does that? ‘ is gone. I answer to myself, I nurture my own talents and I enjoy wonderful, happy days with my kids.” — Amy Koko

“When my marriage objective after 26 years, I realise how much time I had spent thinking about others: how to make my husband or children happy, how to anticipate their needs, how to give them emotional support and encouragement to be the best they could be. I had pretty much forgotten to do any of that for myself. My spouse didn’t seem to have that problem so I guess he taught me that being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Through divorce, I learned that I can’t be everything for everyone else if I don’t also value myself.” — Wendy Mooney

“I became more faithful because of my divorce. My ex-wife was a more spiritual person than I was when we entered our wedding. I learned from her and grew myself in a spiritual style. Faith provided a comforting voice that guided me through the adversities of divorce. It gave me the patience and strength to always be there for my children and myself, despite my ache. It has stayed with me to this day.” — Matt Sweetwood

“What my ex gave me when he left twenty years ago was option. Running forward after 25 years of wedding, it was my choice to live a full, whole and happy life. The early years were a struggle as a single parent. I would never say it was easy. I will say it was worth it. The person I am today is very much a result of his deviation. Now, I can only thank him for leaving. It allowed me to find myself and the life I have today.” — Linda Simpson

“Almost ten years ago, my ex-husband abruptly aimed our 25 -year marriage. I was blindsided. Close to the age of 50, I became a single mom and sole homeowner. I decided that there was no time for self-pity as there was too much to achieve and my son required me to be strong. I prepared my home for sale and I sold it. I purchased a new house and settled into a new community. Months and years have passed and I have survived relatively unscathed. Our household has been forever changed, but my its relation with my children have been enriched. The day my matrimony aimed my strength reemerged.” — Sharen Skelly

“I have learned that I am more resourceful that I thought and that I do not ‘need’ anyone but myself to be truly happy. I don’t need anyone’s approval of me. When you are happy with yourself, you are just happy. It doesn’t matter if someone else wants to see you or not.” — Kathleen Baxter

“One of the greatest lessons I learned after he left was to take care of myself. Even when you are inundated, take time to exert. It’s great for relieving stress and you will feel stronger and more self-sufficient! ” — CC Johnson

“I made a conscious effort to try to focus on the positive. I looked for the positive in my ex and what was he doing to get through the dissolution of our marriage that I wanted to adopt or imitate. He seemed to never waiver on taking care of himself first. At first this angered me; how could he be so selfish? But I changed my point of view to see that putting myself first — attaining assured that I was exerting, eating, getting enough sleep and taking hour for myself before responding to paperwork — actually induced me calmer, happier, and better in challenging situations. I was able to check in with my best ego and get centered and clear on what was important to me.” — Kira Gould

“When I married, so many things about me were put aside , not developed and even ridiculed. When my husband left, I gradually discovered that ego again. The adventuresome ‘me’ emerged, leading to work that got me around the world on expense accounts. The ‘me’ that loves to learn went back to college to examine what I wanted to , not what my husband and community guessed I should study. Their notion of a master’s degree for me was business administration, so I’d build more fund. My idea was an MFA in creative writing. I built less fund but have had a far more satisfying life. I know that in a matrimony, compromises need to be made; but some women, like me, mold their life to suit their partner. Now, I look back and wonder who was that female. The heartbreak was worth the gains.” — Carol Stigger