Foods You Should Avoid Before Flying
Want to induce flying any worse by eating the incorrect food? ( Reuters)
If you chat to any random bunch of people about flying theyll give you a laundry list of reasons about why it can be a bit stressful.
The seats are too small, the people are too big, the lags tend to be hearty, the entertainment screens are too tiny, the blankets flaky, the flight attendant vary between chirpy and demonic, deep vein thrombosis is a thing, and all of this while travelling in a metal bird thousands of miles above the earth with nothing but aeronautic mumbo-jumbo science.
So with all of this rushing through your intellect, do you want to make it any worse by eating the incorrect food? Here are a few to avoid before stepping on-board your next flight.
BAKED BEANS
I dont want to get childish here, but theyre not called the musical fruit for nothing. These little packets of pure malevolent intent will have you losing friends faster than Trumps hair in a hurricane.
I personally would never endorse eating them at the best of time. Theyre gross. But shut cabins, anxiety riddled flyers and short fuses are liable to turn your long haul into a disaster.
Soluble fibre is to blame for the beans corrosive paint-stripping properties and there are other evil gas contenders as well and, as if you ever required another excuse not to eat them, most of them are all part of that big piece of the food health pyramid broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage among the chief culprits.
The more you eat, the more you toot off the flight attendants.
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FRIED CHICKEN
My biggest Achilles heel is fried chicken. Im obsessed with the stuff. Dont try to shame me; I already feel that dishonor when I catch my reflection in the greased wrapping paper as I sit in my underwear stuffing a three-piece is incorporated into my gob.
While theres rarely a time Id turn down a dirty bird, flying day is the exception. Its a greasy mess of a meal. Oily and comparatively pungent, the planes filters are only so strong.
I single out fried chicken, but current realities is that any food with more fatty petroleum than a teens forehead should be avoided that fat turnings to acid and can give you heartburn. It simply sits there, in your stomach, slowly congealing.
Bonus story: I once caught a flight to LA with 40 Hawaiian gospel singers who bought along buckets of fried chicken, which they passed around to one another while humming Amazing Grace . Sandwiched between a soprano and a bass, I swear you would have been able to see a steam coming from my ears somewhere between verses one and two.
ALCOHOL
While a liquid lunch isnt technically a food, its still best to be avoided. Alcohol has lots of anecdotal medicinal benefits when it comes to flying.
People swear it helps alleviate their dread, helps them sleep on long haul and teens swear it makes them appear cooler. And while some of this is half true alcohol might knock you out but it actually disrupts sleep and teens are never cool youll also struggle to stay hydrated and as a result youll get drunker quicker and more likely to flirtation outrageously with an uninterested flight attendant who would rather spend time with a Hawaiian gospel choir than you.
Then to induce matters worse, you wake up with a vicious hangover and win a sweet little place on the No Fly List.
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CURRY
Curry is one of the worlds great drunken mess foods, and I cordially endorse any food you can eat with other food, but its one of the worst pre-flight foods. Spicy foods can cause indigestion and disrupt sleep and it does so this with a cheeky little active ingredient called capsaicin, which is found in chilli peppers.
It basically runs like a broken thermometer, messing up your body temperature. Its also been linked to those horrendous journeys to the lavatory, which I dont inevitably believe, but candidly, its not worth the risk.
FISH
Taking this on the plane should be a no-brainer and it encompasses nearly every morsel from under the sea. And before you ask, yes, this includes sushi and mermaids. The reek alone is so unpleasant it could curl the on-board safety cards, but its also a bit of a risk. One dodgy prawn and youll be stimulating great chums with the planes bathroom.
DAIRY
Your milkshakes might bring all the boys to the yard, but dont bring them on a plane. Too much dairy for example, polishing off a wheel of cheese has the potential to curdle in your stomach and give you bad dreams.
Its also one of the more common causes of food poisoning, along with raw meats and eggs. So maybe avoid the chicken mayonnaise sandwiches with a large chocolate milkshake just before that 14 hour flight.
Its an apology in a glass.
CAFFEINE
Caffeine has many health benefits, including improving memory, warding off Alzheimers disease and stopping overworked drones from turning their Monday into the Hunger Games . However, its also pretty obvious that one of those benefits is one of its pitfalls itll maintain you alert and will stop you from sleeping.
Which is altogether fine on short flights, however on long hauls, best to avoid if you want to take the red-eye to Nodsville. Theres also a surprisingly large amount of stuff with caffeine in it including some chocolate, ice creams, weight-loss pills, painkillers and non-cola sodas.
This tale appeared on new.com.au .