Ever since I got engaged nine several months ago, I’ve noticed a strange tendency. I mean besides the constant “It’s raining on my wedding day” nightmares that maintain me up at night and the ever-present fear that by the time I’m hitched I’ll have less than $10 in my bank account. I’m talking about the constant messaging telling me I need to start “shredding” or” shedding for the wedding”. Every day I insure a new article about pre-wedding juice cleanses and wedding diet plans, and I’ve pretty much had it. The notion that girls need to hit a certain weight or look a certain way on their wedding day in order for it to be “the best day ever” is an outdated concept rooted in sexism. Here’s why I’m 100% OVER shedding for the wedding, and why you should be too.
It Feels Like Society’s Beauty Expectations Of Women, On Steroids
Women have been held to unrealistic beauty expectations since the beginning of time, but since getting engaged, I’ve found that this expectation of having the perfect body( whatever that means) is on a whole other level. Whenever my friends got engaged they would all say, “My wedding diet starts now”. They were literally getting engaged one day and counting calories the next. I didn’t quite understand their reaction, but now, I altogether get onto. I’m constantly inundated with wedding content about workout regiments, foods to avoid and skincare routines( apparently I’m months behind on this ). It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re engaged, if you’re a human girl who goes online, you’re no stranger to the expectations society has for us. The only change is that when you’ve got a ring on your finger, there’s an impending deadline to achieve the aforementioned perfect body, and it’s your wedding date.
It Feels Like A Prerequisite For Getting Married
Look, I understand wanting to look and feel the very best on your wedding day, I know I do, but that entails different things to different people. You may have a goal weight you’ve been trying to make and the bridal day is a good motivator, or you may feel perfectly comfy in your own body and not feel the need to do anything( more power to you ). But whatever your situation is, losing weight shouldn’t feel like a prerequisite to getting married. Content about what you should and shouldn’t be eating before your bridal and articles that claim the hardest part of wedding planning is your fitness routine( has this person ever made a seating chart ?) might construct you question if something’s wrong with you if you’re not dieting or amping up your workout( myself included ). If you find yourself believing like that, try to block out all the social media noise and focus on doing what constructs YOU feel like your best self. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe unfollow the #weddingworkout hashtag for a while. Don’t worry, you can still get a marriage license even if you’re not going to bridal boot camp.
Designers Are Becoming More Size-Inclusive
You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to drop weight in order to fit in a wedding dress. Cookie cutter garbs are a thing of the past, and bridal decorators today are attaining wedding dresses for all body forms and sizes , not just the stick-thin models who debut them on the runway. Supermodel Ashley Graham recently teamed up with Pronovias to launch her own size-inclusive collection, while Fame and Partner launched a capsule collecting for the modern girl with David’s Bridal and new wedding dress company Floravere has garments up to size 26, ensuring women of all sizes they’ll be able to find something that constructs them feel like a million bucks. If you’re fretted you’ll have to lose weight to find a gown that fits you, you can kick that fear to the curb, because it’s become much easier in recent years to find the perfect gown , no matter your body kind.
Grooms Are Held To Different Standards
After being inundated with ideas of ways to change the way my body appears in time for my wedding, I asked my fiance if he noticed anything similar. He hadn’t. I can’t say I’m surprised that there’s not this insane pressure on men to look a certain way for their bridal day, but it was disappointing to hear nonetheless. I wanted to see if there was any content out there aimed at the groom’s physical appearance on the bridal day. Come to find out, there is, but it’s scarce. I found a listing of things bridegrooms should do leading up to the wedding, and the only appearance-related tip was for them to get a haircut. And on their 12-month checklist? Apparently all they need to do is whiten their teeth. No gyms advertising groom boot camp or weight loss tips for men before they go tux shopping. Sure , not all men care as much about their appearance as Tom Sandoval, but why are only the brides being told they need to shed for the marriage in order to “look our best”? I’m exhausted just thinking about all of the things I’m supposed to be doing to my body to get it “wedding ready”, meanwhile my fiance’s downing fried chicken and playing video games not worrying about what the f* ck he’ll look like six months from now. Ugh, to be a man.
It’s Time To End The Madness
Look, I’m not saying that dieting and exercising before your bridal day is a negative thing, but I’m tired of reading articles that imply feeling your best on your bridal day means you have to be working out and dieting beforehand. Shouldn’t you feel your best on your bridal day because you’re marrying the love of your life? Or because you’re about to attend the best party of all time? Why is weight loss so intrinsically tied to how we feel about ourselves, and why is that link merely reserved for women? Your physical appearance might be a part of your wedding day journey, but it shouldn’t hijack what the day is really all about. So, let’s shatter the notion that those surface-level things are in any way the key to having a happy and joyful wedding day. It’s time to say f* ck it and halt to a stop on our never-ending journey towards unattainable beauty standards. The best route to get” wedding day ready” is to be 100% you.
Images: Jason Briscoe/ Unsplash