Although I used to be obese, the biggest battles with my body were when I was my smallest. Candidly, I still struggle with my self-image. Weight-loss is not a quick fix, especially for that little perfectionist inside of us.

Over the course of two years, I ran from 220 lbs and a size 18/20 to 170 lbs and a size 10/12.

I ran from disliking my body because it was fat- because I was clinically obese to disliking my body because it just wasn’t good enough. Because I still took up space.

I looked in the mirror, and I still saw my obese body even though the reality was different.

Body Dysmorphia. That’s what this is called. It’s a condition that affects most people who lose a significant amount of weight. Even if you’ve lost over one-hundred pounds and are fit and toned, you ensure the same if not bigger flaws. You see yourself at the same size.

You still dislike your body.

Two summertimes ago I was the thinnest I had ever been. One night, I wore a dress that was pretty tight in the waist and chest, and I felt great in it but I still felt big. By that time, I had gone through my own journey of self-acceptance. Though, I was more indifferent about my body than anything else. Still, it was progression. Baby steps.

I recollect wearing that gorgeous maroon dress and glancing at myself in a mirror while at a bar with friends, and I thought to myself:” Jesus christ. I seem … tiny. I seem normal. I feel astounding .”

This was the first time I saw my body just as it is and I loved it.

I loved it , not because I looked tiny, but because in that moment I was okay with taking up space. I liked the route I looked, and didn’t think of anything I wanted desperately to change.

‘I will like myself when I’m skinny again ‘,’ When I’m thins enough ‘,’ when I’m small enough ‘. Weight loss isn’t a cure for these thinks. In my suit, it made them so much worse for a long time.

Losing weight is not this magical solution that allows you to love yourself. It doesn’t construct you wake up one morning and tell’ I Am Enough ‘.

When you lose a drastic sum of weight, if you let those thinks get to you the weight will come back. Weight-loss isn’t about get skinny; about shrinking down enough to slip through the floorboards. It’s about learning to love your body; about accepting yourself as you are. It’s about giving your body what it needs to be its best, so that you can be your best.